When I get overwhelmed and stressed, even with all the strategies I have in my metaphorical toolbox to cope with anxiety, I sometimes maintain the steady path of bulldozing others. Oh no! This realization is difficult, as I am surrounded by those I love, particularly my 9-year-old daughter, given my role as a single mom.
I might erupt into saying something out of line like “What’s wrong with you?”and I feel ashamed. I might say something with a tone that elicits fear and desire for control and I feel guilty. The effects can linger and create a continous cycle of remorse. And for many years, I have been dumb-founded as to why extreme progress is missing.
The reality, for me, is that engaging in self-work feels like swimming upstream, much like a salmon navigating against the current. Then, a moment of clarity strikes. It suddenly clicks that my journey mirrors this struggle as I continue to work alongside my mother, whose behaviors often lack self-reflection and accountability. It's been a long journey, and this isn't a criticism of my mother; it's simply an acknowledgment of the challenges we face together.
And with that, I will persist. I know what I’m choosing is challenging. I am aware of the level of challenge. And it’s important to recognize my efforts and give myself credit for making progress amidst the ongoing process of discernment and opportunity.
So, if you’re struggling to see progress, give it some time. Together, let’s embrace the idea of self-compassion, empathy, and understanding. And through extending kindness and understanding to ourselves we can engage with others more empathetically when their own faults and weaknesses surface.
The more aware you are, the more choice you have. We’re here. Let’s be conscious about it.